Grape juice ... for my soul

I have to definitely try and include fruits in my diet. Both me and hubby are not great on remembering to eat fruits. We get this sudden urge to eat healthy and buy a variety, but after a couple of days poor things they are out of sight in the fridge and out of mind.

A couple of weeks ago I discovered some black grapes in the fridge waiting for us to discover them . So they were a little soft but very sweet. With the new enthusiasm, that I am trying to maintain, I searched for a recipe for grape juice . Sure enough I found a simple one. Lo behold ! lovely and refreshing grape juice was ready to quench our thirst on this hot summer mid-morning. 

Here are pics and recipe in short. So I first washed and then cooked the grapes slightly in water. This makes them softer.

Next , I blended it and sieved it. Add Sugar and Chat masala as per taste.

 Enjoy !!

I felt really good after making it. I have decided to keep myself busy . Try new things , make some conscious changes in my life. During the day, I stop and think about all the things I have accomplished that day and pat myself on the back. This reminds me that I am capable of doing so many things efficiently. This boosts my moral. The wait is still a part of life , but now I try to see that it does not bog me down.

I thank my lord daily, for he is helping me discover so many things about myself. I know awesome things are in store for me.

I am back !

HI ! I return after, what do I say, a sabbatical ? More like I got lost in catching up with whatever life had in store for me. Trying to mould myself.... trying to stay ahead. Changed a couple of jobs , got married , bought a home together, car, now am trying to juggle n number of roles and waiting for the much awaited one, for which I became a homemaker four years ago, that of a mother.

TTC comes with its fair share of challenges, especially when it’s unexplained. Watching friends and relatives making family, facing the questions of relatives (who seem more worried about your life than their own). At times facing comments and unwanted advices of interfering acquaintances. Fighting with your own demons, own fears, struggling  to stay positive.

With the support of an amazing spouse , parents, sister and friend am trying to stay sane. Stay positive.

Why me? This question pops every day, more so when the sad reminder of another month gone by comes. I have always been interested in Yoga, meditation and alternate healing techniques. So with the help of these am trying to, not only answer the “ Why me?” question , but am also trying to reinvent my life for a better future.

When I look back on my life so far, I realise the reason for various events that took place, reason for various people that I have met and reasons for various lessons life has thought me. It was just God’s way of directing me to what was best for me. He was helping me prepare myself for life’s tests. Yes , I see it in Hindsight. But again my mind questions , so why the delay in blessing me , us with our bundle of joy?

My husband, who like my mother, is a patient soul with complete faith in Almighty’s plan. He says that God has chosen a really special soul to be placed in our arms and that is why he is taking time , so that everything will be perfect when it comes into our life. I am not so patient, and tend to question and argue about this. Feel, like many women in my shoes, that I am being wronged. But very recently I have felt a change coming over me. I am feeling calm. I am hind sighting.

I have been visualizing and thinking positive , just as “The Secret “ advises us. But now I have started feeling strongly that if what my husband says ( I believe him) is correct then I should be working towards creating a perfect environment for the child. May be God is giving me time for all the changes that I have always wanted to make in me and my life. I feel Almighty’s warm presence and his blessings. I am taking some small step towards a new me of whom I have only dreamt.

I am a very private person.I  don’t open up much with strangers. But a few days back a strange thought came to me one night. There may be so many like me out there, who are going through the same experience. What if somehow in a tiny way my thoughts help them.... But exposing myself to the world is terrifying. Ok, I tell myself, so what if some feel I sound immature or worse come worse stupid. But putting those positive words and my trial out there would only lighten my soul. What if I am not able to continue it, what if I don’t stick to my plan to change and give it up like so many things I have probably left halfway? So what this isn't some competition, nor is it some sort of test. Who is to know? So by now you know that I am a habitual worrier and a very timid person J

So here goes, I will at least start ..... God bless me.                                          

Streets erupt in celebrations

India won the ICC 20-20 being held in South Africa. Wow ! wow ! wow ! A victory everyone was yearning for. It’s been so long since Indian cricket team won a tournament isn’t it?
I am not an avid cricket person. Not a sports person. I was at work, but I would like to add , fortunate enough to see the last two balls played that changed things. The Second last ball hit for a six and the last one which was a failed attempt at another six.
It happened just about five minutes before I left office. My boss warned me that it might be difficult to reach the station which was five minutes away due to crackers and celebrators. That was what they showed on TV after a victory so it must be happening in real life. Du-uh ! but I had never experienced it.
Sure enough I was met with a street full of people of all ages bursting crackers then some more dancing on the streets to drum beats. Fluttering Indian flags and shouting Bharat Mata ki jai. Boy! What a sight it was. People from all walks of life, all religions, and all ages were just caught in the moment celebrating the victory. How I wish I could capture it on camera? But I don’t as a rule carry camera to work. But I decided I had to record this moment on my blog.

Bharat Mata Ki Jai !!

Children as Pawns in a game called life.

I was in a queue at the rickshaw stand. Like all there, I was also in a hurry to reach home after the day’s work. As the queue moved a man with a child seemed to adjust his position in the queue just ahead of me. I had been preoccupied but was fairly certain that he was slipping in the queue. But yes there was also a suspicion that while in my own musings I might not have noticed him before. A lone dad with a child of around a year I think draws some sympathy. No other family members were in sight. The people in the queue who would have yelled at anyone, man or woman, who tried to break the queue also did not react. This seemed a sufficient support to my suspicion that I had not noticed the man before.

The queue proceeded slowly. Finally it was his turn. He got into a rick and signaled. Lo behold from somewhere miraculously appeared a wife and a daughter of about 9 yrs. They had not been anywhere in plain sight before. They glanced furtively at people waiting for their turn. No it was not a figment of my imagination the guilt was written all over their faces.

I was irked not only because they had broken the order but more so because they had used a child in such a fashion. They were educated folks for heavens’ sake! Well, why then do we look down upon beggars who play on the people’s emotions to earn . Some of them are actually needy and some probably have really borne the child they are lugging for sympathy. It is a universal phenomenon. Why aren’t there people in the so called developed countries who bear more and more children just for the financial support and subsidies that the government gives for the children?

Commercially too companies make use of children in ads to attract parents into buying the goods. Everything from cement to undergarments features children, who get influenced by these messages and persuade their parents to buy these commodities. Why even in some marriages we see the children being used as pawns by their parents.
Well, then I guess there is no end to it. Who is to decide whether its right or wrong and how is any one going to be able to curb it. It is human psychology. Didn’t Kunti , Mother of Pandavas In Mahabharata, try to play on her deserted son Karna’s emotions to try and protect her legitimate sons ?

What’s in a Bat ?

Yesterday evening when I was reading by the window I saw a bat hanging from a branch of a tree in front of our home. It is a Badam tree. I called out to my maid to show her the bat. We watched for sometime as the Bat with an agility of an acrobat (I am not sure whether bats are supposed to be agile but the movements were such flowing ones) was moving from one branch to another.

As we were discussing as to how it looks like a mouse our maid asked me “Didi uska pankha kaisa hota hain (How do their wings look)” I roughly drew the wings with my finger on the window sill. I was doubtful whether she understood. Just then the bat took flight. It just went around in a small circle as if in an exhibition flight and sat on a branch prominently visible from the window. Ah! Could it have possibly heard us?

This time when it hung it faced us and I could feel its eyes on us. The maid returned to her work leaving me alone at the window. I drew my book closer to me. But I swear it was creepy as whenever I raised my eyes it seemed to be watching me. Then it plucked a fruit from the tree and started nibbling at it.

Suddenly some other bird in the tree, I think a crow, flew away and the bat alerted by the sound wrapped its wings around it and in the process covered the fruit so that no one could see it. Just like a greedy child hiding a chocolate from the other children I thought.

Though brought up in a different culture, as I watched the Bat, I couldn’t help but think of Halloween and witches and movies that I have seen since childhood.

The significance of bats I read is different in different cultures. In some cultures they symbolize death, disease, ghosts whereas in some other they are symbol of longevity, happiness and luck. I don’t know how many people know this, I didn’t till now at least. But something that everyone, well almost everyone knows is that bats are associated with Vampires and Dracula. Well, thanks to the western movies.

I came across this interesting article at http://www.batcon.org/batsmag/v6n2-3.html.In India, it says, there are 4 places near Madurai in the state of Tamilnadu where bat hunting is prohibited. The locals believe that these bats are protected by the deities of these places. So hunting of these bats will result in the wrath of the gods.
What do bats symbolize to me or which symbolism I go with? I like to believe in magic so I think in my mind I will always associate the bats with the witches and spirits.

Hello everyone!

Finally! My first blog. I have been maintaining a diary, as people close to me know, for ages. I think from the age of 11. A diary is a place where one pours out ones feelings and desires. Yes I have been doing that and that is one of the things that keep me sane.

I wanted a blog as a space of my own in this web world. A place where I can pen down my reflections. Could be how I feel about a current issue, a description of a wonderful holiday or party, a story, recipes, a collection of sites that interest me etcetra etcetra

A place which would be, to me, for me and by me. Well I am not at all self centered, so of course I believe the things I post will interest some others too.

Last but not the least it feels sahi to see your work online. Someday I will publish I know but till then what better way to practice than a blog.